PERSONAL NOTE

Well, no out-of-town vacation for me yet, but several staycation days.  I got to see a couple of concerts and go to several events that were great fun.  I also accepted several committee and officer positions with organizations which will keep me busy for the next year.  Now, my new word when asked about handling something else is "No".  It's important to know when to set the boundary and I am there.  It is said if you want something done "Ask a busy person", so if that applies to you, please know it's okay to say "No" so that you don't overextend yourself.  This month we are looking at Influence and Persuasion. 

ARTICLE

Influence Like a Pro: How to Uplevel Your Interactions

Imagine that you had the power of mind control—the ability to convince people to help you achieve your dreams and goals. What would you do with that power? Would you ask your boss for a well-deserved raise, or perhaps you'd just love to get your kids to finish their homework on time without a single nag? Or maybe you dream about convincing your spouse to take that trip with you to a foreign country.

For many of us, the idea of effortlessly convincing others to do what we want is just a dream. But the truth is, you already have the power to influence and persuade. The better you get at this art, the better your chances of getting what you want in life.

Though we often use the terms "influence" and "persuasion" interchangeably, they’re not quite the same. Both involve guiding people's thoughts, actions, behaviors, or feelings, but they do so in different ways. Influence is about moving someone based on who you are—your personality, charisma, and behavior. Persuasion, on the other hand, is about convincing someone to change using reasoning, logic, and facts. Influence tends to be more subtle and quiet, while persuasion requires a little bit of effort.

Dale Carnegie said it best: “There is only one way…to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the person want to do it.” So, how do you get people to want to do things for you? How do you build your influence and persuasion muscles?

Here are a few simple tips to get you started with more to follow during September:

• Flip the Script: Put Others First! It’s hard to win anyone over with a “me first” attitude. Thinking, “I’ll pay more attention to my spouse when they start paying more attention to me,” or “I’ll put in the extra effort once I get that promotion,” is like putting the cart before the horse—it just doesn’t work! Instead, why not shake things up and give people what they want first? When you help others hit their goals, they’ll be way more likely to help you hit yours. So, the next time you need a little favor, figure out what they want and make it happen. Chances are, they’ll be more than happy to return the favor!
• Supercharge Your Persuasion with Powerful Phrases: Ready to boost your persuasive powers? Author Christine Comaford has got your back with three simple but mighty phrases:
  • “What if…”: This little gem takes the ego out of the equation and opens up a world of possibilities. It’s like saying, “Hey, what if we gave Solution X a shot?”
  • “I need your help…”: Want to flip the script? This phrase puts the other person in the driver’s seat, making them feel like a hero. For example, “I need your help to tackle this challenge…”
  • “Would it be helpful if…”: Time to shift gears from problems to solutions! Try something like, “Would it be helpful if we tried X instead of Y?” and watch how quickly the conversation becomes productive.

These phrases hit all the right notes—making people feel safe, included, and valued—which pretty much makes them want to jump on board with whatever you’re suggesting!

We’ve all found ourselves in situations where a little extra persuasion could’ve turned the tide—whether you’re a CEO introducing new software to hesitant employees or just trying to get your cable company to knock a few bucks off your bill. Flexing those influence and persuasion muscles is a skill that comes in handy every single day.

But don’t worry—being persuasive isn’t about playing tricks or pulling strings. It’s all about ethically guiding others to help you reach your goals, with a focus on creating those win-win situations where everyone comes out on top.

So, take a moment to think about that one goal you’ve been dreaming of—the one that could use a little extra nudge from others. What strategy are you going to use to make it happen? 

UPCOMING EVENTS

I am speaking at the CEA Annual Conference in October and creating a new presentation just for them called “Fortitude and Fun: Embracing Challenges with a Resilient Spirit and a Sense of Humor”.  For the Escrow people on this newsletter, come join us, it should be a great conference.  

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Stay safe, healthy, and happy!

Coach Jan