PERSONAL NOTE

I love watching sports, and this February is an all-star month for that.  The 2026 Winter Olympics are starting on the 6th, Super Bowl is on the 8th, and Daytona 500 is on the 15th. I'm in sports heaven this month!  Then I get to geek out with my science nerd self, because this is the month that Neil deGrasse Tyson, a world-renowned astrophysicist, will be lecturing at the Civic Center.  I know that is like going from oil to water, but my interests are varied (I guess I probably didn't need to tell you that, did I).  I'll give you highlights next month. 

ARTICLE

Listening is More Than Hearing Words

By February, you may notice a subtle shift. The fresh energy of January has worn off, patience feels thinner, and conversations seem more charged than they used to. You’re surrounded by noise, opinions, urgency, and division — all competing for your attention. It’s easy to stay half-present, already forming your response while someone else is still talking. Without realizing it, you may stop truly listening.

Active listening is a familiar phrase, but it’s often misunderstood. It’s not about nodding at the right moments or repeating someone’s words back to them. At its core, it is about something far more meaningful: genuinely wanting to understand what another person thinks or feels.

And that raises an important question worth sitting with. If you’re not interested in how someone feels — or how they understand a situation — why are you even having the conversation?

Most people don’t enter conversations just to hear words. They want to feel acknowledged. They want to know their perspective matters. When that doesn’t happen, stress rises quickly. You can feel it in your body — the tightening, the urge to defend, the frustration of not being seen or understood.

You see it everywhere. At work, when someone talks while you are already preparing their rebuttal. At home, when advice shows up before understanding. In everyday moments, when someone shares something important and feels brushed off instead of heard. In those moments, the problem isn’t communication. It’s a lack of connection.

Active listening is powerful because it changes the experience on both sides. When someone feels truly heard, their nervous system settles. They don’t have to push as hard. The conversation softens. And surprisingly often, the need to convince or explain begins to fade on its own. What’s less talked about is how this type of listening benefits the listener.

Listening to understand doesn’t mean you agree. It means you care enough to be curious. It says, “You matter enough for me to be here with you,” even if we see things differently. In a world that often rewards shouting, choosing to listen is an act of humanity. It keeps you grounded. It keeps conversations from turning into noise. And it reminds you that connection doesn’t come from being right — it comes from being present.

This month, notice why you’re listening. Notice the difference between waiting to speak and wanting to understand. Pay attention to how conversations change when you are present instead of reacting. Sometimes, the most meaningful thing you can give someone else, and yourself, is the willingness to listen. 

RECENT PODCAST

I was just on a podcast for Women in Business UCSD and wanted to share the link.  Make sure to turn up your volume as the interviewer is very soft-spoken.  You can listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ZFJckF1OgcKZeavjrMkD3?si=ca586085d54f4928. 

UPCOMING EVENTS

Something new is coming—designed to help you make yourself a priority without adding one more thing to your plate.  Watch for it.

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Stay safe, healthy, and happy!

Coach Jan