PERSONAL NOTE
Well, I don't know about you, but May was a mixed bag for me, some fun and laughter and some tears. I participated in the 35th Annual Navy Bay Bridge walk/run with about 9,500 of my closest strangers. It went over the Coronado Bridge between San Diego and Coronado Island. If you aren't from around this area Google, the bridge it's quite formidable. It was nice to know that the training I did was more difficult than the actual event, so no sore muscles the next day. I also signed up for a 5K on the tarmac at Miramar Air Base (where the original Top Gun was filmed) that's coming up in mid-June.
This month we are discussing the benefits of letting go as many people seem to hang on to items, grudges, past experiences, etc. that keep them from moving forward in life.
Letting Go: Great Idea, But How Do I Do It? Here Are 8 Tips to Help You Get Started
An inconsiderate driver in a fast car cut you off this morning; it’s noon and you’re still seething.
The clerk at the grocery store wouldn’t let you in the express line because the guy behind you announced that you have 11 items in your cart.
Your husband had an affair 15 years ago and even though you’ve been divorced for 7 years, your stomach still knots up when you think about it.
You moved to a new city for a great career opportunity but long so much for your old home and friends that you can’t find anything to like about the new place.
Your son stays home to care for the kids while your daughter-in-law works at her law practice, and this just doesn’t seem right to you.
You know you should let it all go, and you try, but there it is—that same old stuff still getting rent-free space in your head.
Just exactly how does one let go, so that the residue of the past is put away, forgotten, or transformed into memories that can be called upon at will, rather than those that show up like telephone solicitors at dinnertime and demand attention?
Letting go has to do with living in the present moment rather than the past. It happens when the past isn’t projected into the future but is left behind where it belongs. It is about making amends when called for, taking care of that which needs attending to, and forgiving rather than re-living.
Below are 8 tips on how you can let go in different circumstances.
• Try this next time a thought about something that happened in the past floats into your mind, let it pass through without jumping aboard and going along for the ride. If you focus on it, like a weed that gets watered it will grow. Try acknowledging the thought, then, with a deep breath, letting it go.
• If the thought that comes along is about something that’s left undone, you may need to take some action before you can let go. Do you need to make amends to someone, clear up some misunderstanding, send a text or make a phone call? Perhaps you need to make a list of the actions needed to clear a situation and set some goals. Begin with a small, manageable step, but whatever you must do, begin. Taking action sometimes precedes letting go.
• Stay in the now and appreciate the circumstances of your life. Make a gratitude list of what you like about wherever you are, not just your living arrangements, but other parts of your life, too. Get rid of what is no longer appropriate in your life and create more space for new parts of yourself to show up.
• Write letters that you may or may not send to people you need to release. (Caution: always wait a few days and check with someone you trust if you have any doubts about the appropriateness of actually sending a letter.) Write unsent letters to situations from your past, or to people, even those who have passed away. Write what you feel, say what you need, and say goodbye. I know you’ve heard of this before; it’s called closure.
• Let go by putting away pictures, memorabilia, clothes, gifts, and anything else that keeps you actively connected with someone who’s no longer with you and whose presence you keep alive when it would be more beneficial to move on.
• Make a ceremony of letting go. Burn old letters or journals. Dig a hole in the earth and bury what needs to be buried. Write a letter or vow for the occasion, and read it aloud. Light candles, sing songs. And weep if need be. Include others in your ceremony to witness or assist you.
• Let go of old ideas. People, lifestyles, and cultures change. Talk to others, and get other perspectives. Focus on what’s good about the change, and find the ways it benefits you and others. Holding on to how it used to be will keep you from participating in the present.
• Release thoughts and words that categorize people, that measure or evaluate, that judge, condemn, or hold others to your expectations. Eliminate words like should, ought, can’t, if only, however, and impossible.
Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear, wrote, “When we cherish or hold onto grievances, we cannot let go. We become imprisoned.” Perhaps the highest level of letting go is to practice forgiveness.
COOL RESOURCE
One of my mentors, Hale Dwoskin, created a movie titled Letting Go: The Sedona Method Movie, which you can watch for free by clicking on the link below. I purchased the DVD when the movie came out and have watched it many times. The run length is 1 hr and 8 minutes. There is a lot of valuable information on releasing and letting go. I hope you enjoy it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CADTkM1aoP8
UPCOMING EVENTS
I will be attending the American Escrow Association Annual Conference in Scottsdale, AZ in mid-June.
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Please let me know if there are particular items you would like me to cover in upcoming newsletters. Just email me at jancerasaro@yccbe.com
Stay safe, healthy, and happy!
Coach Jan
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