PERSONAL NOTE
My time at the cabin was wonderful. It was only a few days but recharged my heart and soul. I was visited by rabbits, deer, and wild turkeys, quite the parade of wildlife. No blizzards this time, however, just cool enough to keep the fireplace active. Now that I am heading into June, I’ve been thinking a lot about time—not just how fast it’s flying, but how I spend it. Somewhere between juggling to-do lists and rescuing socks from the dryer vortex, I realized that my calendar was full… but I'm not. So, this month, I’m making a list of some fun things to do while the days are long.
ARTICLE
Why Saying No Creates Space for What Matters
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but somehow, it’s easy to feel like everyone else is doing more—managing work, family, volunteering, hosting, helping, saying yes to just about everything. If you’re feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, or like your own needs always come last, I have a simple yet powerful message for you: Saying “No” isn’t selfish. It’s survival.
When you say yes to everything, you say no to something else, often your own well-being. The truth is you don’t need to do it all. You’re allowed to decline the committee invite, skip the party, or opt out of the “shoulds” that don’t align with your energy, goals, or happiness. Your peace of mind is worth protecting.
Creating space in your life starts with letting go of the things that don’t really matter. So, what do you do with the extra time you free up? It can be used for something life-giving—like rest, creativity, self-care, or simply doing nothing (yes, that counts!).
Here are five things you can start doing right now to make yourself a priority again:
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Check in with yourself before committing.
Pause before automatically saying yes. Ask: “Does this align with what I need right now?” If it drains you, stresses you out, or feels like an obligation instead of joy, it’s probably a no.
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Schedule time for yourself like you would a meeting.
Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or just sitting with your coffee in peace—block it off. Treat it with the same importance you would like a client or coworker. Because guess what? You are just as important.
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Create a “No” script.
Practice gentle ways to decline without guilt. Try: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass this time.” Or “That doesn’t work for me right now, but I hope it goes well!” No drama, no apology needed.
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Let go of the guilt.
Repeat after me: “I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness.” You’re allowed to put yourself first. In fact, when you’re rested and centered, you show up more powerfully for the people you love.
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Reconnect with what fills you up.
Think about the things that bring you joy or peace—time in nature, golfing, laughing with a friend. Start doing more of those. When your life is filled with meaningful moments, it becomes easier to let go of the meaningless ones.
The world won’t fall apart if you say no. But you might fall apart if you keep saying yes to everything and everyone but yourself. Give yourself permission to step back from the noise and tend to your own needs.
You deserve a life that feels spacious, not suffocating. A life where you come first—at least sometimes. Saying no is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. And that type of kindness ripples out into every other part of your life.
POWERFUL QUOTE
"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough." --— Josh Billings
UPCOMING EVENTS
I'll be presenting at the Los Angeles Escrow Assocation in early July. Looking forward to connecting with a lot of old friends.
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Stay safe, healthy, and happy!
Coach Jan
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